


Santa's Replacement

by AGirlAndABeast



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format, Store Owner Tyrion Lannister, Who says Tyrion wouldn't be the perfect Santa?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 15:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19176547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGirlAndABeast/pseuds/AGirlAndABeast
Summary: Tyrion runs a small department store, and his supposed-to-be-Santa brother-in-law doesn't show up.  Modern AU.  Screenplay format.





	Santa's Replacement

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's not Christmas, but people apparently hate Christmas fics at Christmas, so you get it in June instead. Also, I felt like you guys deserved some modern au fluff after that last little flash-fic script thingy I posted.

 

EXT. ‘BITS AND PIECES’ DEPARTMENT STORE, DAY

 

It’s nearly midday when TYRION (40s, golden curls) approaches the small town’s oldest, and quietest, department store.  He wears two NAMETAGS, one that reads ‘TYRION’ and another beneath it: ‘Manager’.  He walks with his gaze cast downward while clutching a thin blue folder to his side.

 

He stops suddenly, as if something has just caught his attention.  He lifts his head slowly and his brow furrows with a deep frown.  He turns to his right and before him is the DISPLAY WINDOW of the department store.  Inside, PODRICK, (20s, dark hair) is changing the Christmas display.

 

TYRION  
(confused)  
What on earth is he...?

 

Tyrion straightens his back and heads straight for the main doors at the left of the display window.  He tries the handle on the right door, but it doesn’t budge.  He tries the left door’s handle, but it doesn’t open either.

 

Frustrated, he reaches for the keys in his left pocket, but as he pulls them out they fall to the ground.  He bends to pick them up, but smacks his head against the glass pane of the door.  He clutches his head and grimaces, picks up his keys, unlocks the door, pulls down the handle and enters the shop.

 

INT. ‘BITS AND PIECES’ DEPARTMENT STORE, DAY

 

Tyrion is two steps into the store when SANSA (20s, rust-red hair) stops in front of him.

 

SANSA  
Tyrion, we have a problem.

 

TYRION  
Really?  Would it possibly have something to do with our young friend taking down the Christmas display I spent seven hours setting up Saturday night?

 

Sansa looks past Tyrion and at the window display.  Podrick is moving a step ladder into position; suddenly he trips and falls over with the ladder.  Sansa winces, and turns her attention back to Tyrion.

 

PODRICK (o.s)  
It’s okay, I’m fine!

 

Sansa takes hold of Tyrion's arm and leads him toward an oversized SANTA SLEIGH - surrounded by large candy canes, fake snow, a camera and studio lights - which is all situated in the middle of the store.

 

SANSA  
No, that’s not it.  Tyrion, Santa can’t make it.

 

He lets out a sigh.

 

TYRION  
Good riddance.

 

SANSA  
(aghast)  
TYRION!  He’s your brother-in-law!

 

He turns, faces Sansa.

 

TYRION  
He always overcharged us.  He is almost always hung-over.  And he smelled like... like rotten cheese!

 

SANSA  
Regardless, we needed a Santa and now we don’t have one.  The store opens in an hour and you know the Santa photos bring the most income every year.

 

Tyrion’s eyes narrow as he stares back at Sansa.

 

TYRION  
I’m not going to like what you’re about to suggest, am I?

 

SANSA  
We don’t have anyone else.

 

TYRION  
No.

 

Sansa tilts her head to the side, pleadingly, but Tyrion turns away and begins walking off to the far left of the store.

 

SANSA  
It’ll be fun!

 

He waves his folder above his head in defiance as he walks away.

 

TYRION  
Nobody wants to see a dwarf Santa!

 

INT. ‘BITS AND PIECES’ DEPARTMENT STORE, DAY

 

Tyrion is dressed in an over-sized RED SANTA SUIT and is seated on the large sleigh in the middle of the store.  The store is filled with noise, most of it from screams and laughter of children, but also their despairing parents.

Sitting on Tyrion's lap is a six-year old BOY.

 

BOY  
...I don’t want anything but Optimus Prime for Christmas...

 

Tyrion looks over by the PHOTOGRAPHER (20s, long black hair), where Sansa is standing with a proud smile on her face.  He glowers at her, which only serves to make her chuckle.

 

PHOTOGRAPHER  
All right, smile for the camera Santa.

 

Tyrion does so; however it’s with great reluctance.

 

SERIES OF SCENES

  1. Tyrion holds two CRYING BABIES in his arms. His face is slightly red.
  2. Three BOYS (6, 7, 10) are fighting over who gets to sit on Santa’s lap. Tyrion sighs heavily.
  3. A YOUNG BOY (2) continually whacks Tyrion in the head with a blow-up hammer that squeaks with every hit. The boy laughs every time. Tyrion glares darkly at Sansa.
  4. A GIRL (8) and BOY (6) bicker over who’s been behaving and who hasn’t. Tyrion continues to glare at Sansa.



END SERIES OF SCENES

 

INT. ‘BITS AND PIECES’ DEPARTMENT STORE, DAY

 

It’s midday and the last child, a LITTLE GIRL (3) is sitting on TYRION’s lap for her photo to be taken. 

 

TYRION  
Do you know what you want for Christmas, princess?

 

The little girl shakes her head and doesn’t speak.

 

PHOTOGRAPHER  
All right, smile time sweetheart.  Three...two...one.

 

The photograph is taken, and when the GIRL’S MOTHER goes to get her from TYRION’s lap, the little girl turns and hugs him.

 

LITTLE GIRL  
I love you the best, Small Santa.

 

Sansa, standing off to the side, smiles on at Tyrion as he hugs the girl back.  She approaches him as mother and daughter head over to the photographer.

 

Tyrion stands, stretches his back.

 

Sansa steps up to him, places her hand on his shoulder to still him, then bends and presses a lingering kiss to his cheek.

 

SANSA  
(whispering)  
Thank you.

 

He stares back at her in surprise, and she gives him a smile and a parting pat before walking off.  He finds himself smiling too, when he hears a loud crash come from the display window.

 

PODRICK (o.s)

No, it’s okay!  I think I broke my arm, but I’m okay!

 

Tyrion lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head.


End file.
